Bev Cooks

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Lemon Chicken with Orzo

What does bistro mean?

Because in a coffee-induced hyper episode on Saturday, I deemed this week as BLOG BISTRO WEEK. And then realized I have no idea what that means. And that I was talking to air. But I do know that it’s one of those words that when you say it more than thrice, it sounds jank. Bistro, bistro, bistro.

I wiki’d and google imaged it, but of course didn’t get anywhere because just looking at all those pictures of quaint bistros made me a little depressed that I’ve never been to Paris or London or anywhere that stripes actually look good on people. So I had to watch Amelie. Which lead to me absolutely needing to practice my French and stick my fingers in dried beans. And then I realized the expiration date on these bags of dried beans were before the crucifixion. And so of course that lead to a massive pantry overhaul. And finding 47 nearly empty bottles of olive oil and an EARRING.

What was I saying?

Oh yeah. BEESTRO. Will you please tell me what it means because I’m exhausted after all that pantry business.

I’m still calling it BLOG BISTRO WEEK though.

What it took for 2:

* 1 Tbs. lemon zest

* 1/4 cup lemon juice

* 2 Tbs. extra-virgin olive oil, divided

* 2 cloves garlic, minced

* 2 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves, cut in half

* 2 tsp. fresh oregano

* 1 ts.p fresh thyme leaves

* 1/4 cup pitted black olives, sliced

* 1 shallot, sliced

* 4 lemon slices

* coarse salt and freshly ground pepper

* cooking spray

* 1 cup orzo

* 1/4 cup freshly grated parmesan cheese

* 1/2 tsp garlic salt

* 6 basil leaves, torn

Preheat oven to 400.

Combine the lemon zest, juice, oil, garlic and chicken in a small baggy. Seal and swish all around, coating the chicken. Marinate at room temperature for about 15 minutes.

Lightly coat a baking dish with cooking spray and arrange the chicken (and marinade!) in the dish. Sprinkle the herbs over the chicken, along with the shallots, olives and lemon slices. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Bake chicken for 20 minutes.

Take out of the oven, switch the oven to broil, and put the chicken back in for 3 minutes, until the lemon slices start to brown and the chicken cooks through.

In the meantime, cook the orzo until al dente. Drain and add the remaining oil, cheese, garlic salt and basil.

Serve chicken over a bed of orzo and disappear into your plate.

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Black Beans and Rice

I was going to wait and make this after Valentine’s day, but when I made the mistake of verbalizing the week’s list of potential dinners to Aaron, he interrupted me at “black beans and ri…” with, YES. YES. MAKE THAT TODAY. I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE REST OF THE LIST. JUST MAKE BLACK BEANS AND RICE. IF YOU LOVE ME, YOU WILL MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION FOR US.

And then he fell into a coma and promised only to come out of it if I made the gall-darned black beans and rice.

And, obviously, I can’t have a husband in a coma! I have a sink knob thingy that needs fixing.

So, this version is actually really simple, but with a Creole punch that will knock your weary soul into next week. Which is perfect because Mardi Gras is next week! I seriously didn’t even mean to do that, you guys.

Remembering what my Louisiana cousins survived on growing up who would straight up tar and feather me if I left it out, I went straight to the source for flava flav: Tony Chachere’s famous Creole seasoning.

OHHHHHHH. I don’t know what Tony was on when he came up with this spice mix, but I want to dip myself in a bowl of it, followed by an egg wash, and bake myself until perfectly browned and crispy.

Whooooa wait. That’s crazy talk!

I’d rather become a black bean and spend my life inside my own belly after eating 37 bowls of this.

THAAAAT makes more sense.

Lick, lick, lick.

Hey, Tony. What are you doing later?

* 3 slices bacon, cut into small chunks

* 1/2 red onion, diced

* 3 cloves garlic, minced

* 1 Tbs. smoked paprika

* 1 tsp. cumin

* 1 Tbs. (or more!) Tony Chachere’s Cajun seasoning, divided

* 1 red bell pepper, diced

* 2 Roma tomatoes, diced

* 2 (14.5 oz.) cans black beans, drained and rinsed

* 1 Tbs. honey

* 1/4 cup favorite beer

* 1/4 cup fresh cilantro, plus more for garnish

* few glugs of Tabasco sauce

* 3 cups cooked jasmine rice

Cook the bacon until crisp. Remove bacon and set aside to drain on paper towels. Discard all but 1 Tbs. of the bacon fat.

Add the diced onion to the skillet and cook until they start to soften and caramelize, 5 minutes. Add the garlic and bloom 30 seconds. Add the red bell pepper, the paprika, cumin and a good pinch of Tony’s spice. Saute another minute.

Add in the diced tomatoes and saute until they start to break down a little, 3 minutes. Then pour in the beans. Toss to combine and cook 2 minutes. Taste. Add the honey, beer and another pinch of Tony’s. Cook another two minutes.

Toss in the cilantro to wilt, along with a few glugs of Tabasco. One final taste. More Tony’s? It acts as salt so don’t overuse.

Serve black bean mixture on a heaping mound of cooked rice and garnish with more cilantro leaves and the reserved bacon bits. Have more Tabasco on hand. It’s only right.

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Shrimp Pasta

Husbands. Whatever.

I love how I can spend 417 hours a day in the barrels of food obsession, wrestling multiple brain aneurysms trying to dream up the pimpest recipe combinations, researching every last cobwebby corner of the webs and magazine pages until I’m blue in the face for a single speck of inspiration for the perfect dang meal. And then he comes breezing through the door, all casual and cute with a new haircut, randomly feeling like cooking dinner, and he whips up THIS out of freaking nowhere.

Jerk.

I wasn’t even fully aware of what was happening either. I was on glass number whatever of wine, deep into kitchen remodel research on the sexy vortex of Pinterest, when it hit me and my nose.

Me, “What are you doing in there? It seriously smells incredible.”

Him, “Oh, just getting a quick caramelization on these purple onions since they’re naturally sweet, and pairing it with garlic, some of our dried herbs from the garden, sweet corn and cherry tomatoes, so the acidity complements the sweetness.”

Me, “Why are you doing this to me? Don’t you know how fragile I am?”

And then, just like that, he formed a lasso out of a strand of spaghetti, threw it toward my vulnerable body, and it coiled around my waist, and I went flying through the air like a delicate feather, and our bodies met, right next to the stove. And we kissed. For 7 days straight.

He made this dinner for me, you guys. It’s PRETTY MUCH THE SAME THING.

What it took for 2:

* 2 Tbs. extra-virgin olive oil, plus more drizzling

* 1/2 red onion, finely diced

* 3 cloves garlic, minced

* 2 Tbs. dried oregano and thyme (total)

* 1 Tbs. orange zest

* 1 cup frozen corn

* 1 cup cherry tomatoes

* 1/2 pound frozen shrimp, thawed and deveined

* 1/2 pound thin spaghetti

* coarse salt and freshly ground pepper

Heat the oil in a medium skillet over medium-high. Add the onions and saute until you start to see a little color, 5 minutes. Add the garlic, herbs and zest and saute another 2 minutes.

Add the corn and tomatoes. Cook another 5 or so minutes. Season with a pinch of salt and pepper.

Scoot the veggies to the side and arrange the shrimp in the center of the skillet. Sprinkle a little salt and pepper over them. Sear on one side for 2 minutes. Flip and sear another minute.

In the meantime, cook the pasta in a large pot of salted water, until it reaches al dente. Using tongs, transfer the pasta into the skillet. It’s OK to let some pasta water drip into it. That helps create a light sauce.

Toss everything together until combined. Drizzle with more oil and toss in more salt if needed.

Serve and demolish.

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Before we spiral into the vortex of chest hair-growing, involuntary grunting, crotch-scratching and Arsenio Hall arm-pumping-style dude food this week, we need to prepare our stomach cavity.

We need to massage it and stretch it. We need to put a damp towel around its shoulders and squirt cold water into it. Give it pep talks, sing it inspirational tunes, take it on a long sunset-y beach walk. Braid its hair.

That’s almost the weirdest thought I’ve ever had.

I had this OMG moment at Trader Joe’s a few weeks ago. You know how it’s always a bad idea to go into a grocery run hungry? Right. Well, as I was perusing the salad counter and gnawing on my metacarpals, I grabbed a pretty spinach salad all packaged up real pretty with a bunch of other pretty stuff inside. I cut my errand short (but not without 3 Buck Chuck, YOU CAN BREATHE) and drove home so I could eat and bandage up my hand.

I had two thoughts:

* This is seriously the best salad in existence.

* I can make this at home!

* I hope this coconut oil really does deep condition my hair.

AND, get this. You can prepare the “guts” and dressing on Sunday, throw it in an air-tight container and have instant salads ANYTIME YOU DREAM ALL WEEK WHENEVER.

What it takes for 4 salads:

* 1 (14.5 oz.) can chickpeas, drained and rinsed

* 1 (10 oz.) bag of frozen edamame

* 1 cup dried cranberries

* 1/2 cup pepitas

* 2 large carrots, finely sliced

* 10 cups baby spinach, divided

* 2 lemons, juiced

* 1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil

* coarse salt and freshly ground pepper

Cook the edamame in boiling water according to package directions. Drain.

Once cooked, let cool about 5 minutes.

In a large bowl, toss the edamame with the chickpeas, dried cranberries, pepitas and carrots.

In a small bowl or jar, whisk or shake the lemon juice with the oil, along with a good pinch of salt and pepper. Voila, dressing.

Arrange 2-ish cups of spinach on a plate, and top with the edamame mixture. Dress the salad with the lemon dressing and….lunch!

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Buffalo Chicken Wraps

I have the best news ever!

I’m sick.

I blame my husband and whatever jerk or jerkette passed it along to him at work. Friday he came home complaining of sinus pressure and hints of fatigue and I was all, SISSY. But then I ran to the bathroom, rubbed echinacea powder and Robitussin all into my body pores, climbed into my very stylish bubble outfit and hid under the bed.

It didn’t work.

Sooo, before I go hook up a green tea IV drip and snort crushed cough drops for the next 13 hours, I need to show you these buffalo chicken wraps.

Mother of Mary and all the babies that drink the morning dew, these wraps….oh….my…

I don’t know what my deal is, but lately I’ve been u-b-s-a-y-e-s-s-e-d with any and all things buffalo. Like, so much that I would lick buffalo sauce straight off a dirty floor if times got ugly enough.

WHOAAA, BEV. Yeah, I should seriously stop right there and go back to bed.

(I still would though.)

If you suffer from the buff-a-freak sickness like I do, add these thangs to your game-day menu. Actually, just add them to your to-do list for this morning.

I’m going to go add buffalo sauce to my green tea now. Goodbye.

What it took for 4 wraps:

* 1 Tbs. butter, melted

* 1 pinch cayenne pepper

* 1 pinch freshly ground pepper

* 1 pinch coarse salt

* 1/2 cup hot pepper sauce, divided (I used Franks)

* 1 pound chicken tenders

* 2 cups shredded romaine lettuce

* 1 roma tomato, diced

* 4 slices bacon, cooked and coarsely chopped

* 2 eggs, hardboiled and coarsely chopped

* 1/4 cup ranch dressing

* 1/2 cup crumbled blue cheese, divided

* 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese

* 4 large jalapeno cheddar tortillas

Combine the butter, cayenne pepper, black pepper, salt and 1/4 cup of the hot pepper sauce in a bowl. Whisk to combine. Add the chicken and toss to coat. Cover and marinate for however long you want to. An hour or more.

Heat an indoor grill (or outdoor, whatevs) over medium-high and coat with cooking spray. Add the chicken tenders and grill until cooked through with nice grill marks on both sides, about 8 minutes total. Remove from grill and roughly chop.

Whisk the ranch with 1/4 cup of the blue cheese crumbles. Or buy blue cheese dressing.

Heat up the tortillas in the oven or microwave and start crafting your wraps. Layer some chicken in the center, followed by bacon, eggs, romaine, blue cheese, cheddar, the dressing and a few more good glugs of hot pepper sauce. With your fingers, mix up the filling so the dressing evenly coats all of the ingredients.

Roll up the burrito and tuck in the corners. You can throw it back on the grill if you want, or if you’re a ravenous freak, go ahead and slice in half and EAT.

OMG.

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Chicken Stroganoff

What up, Strogs? Strogy. The STROGSTER.

Oh, hi! I’m just pretending it’s 1995 and totally legit to use these God-forsaken nicknames on my new most favoritest dish ever in my life.

Did you know that “stroganoff” actually means “to eat your face off?” It does! And then in 1965, they shortened it to just “stroganoff your face off.” Yep. That’s why you see all the bumper stickers, mugs and tee-shirts with that slogan.

Oh you haven’t seen that?

Oh.

WELL, this here stroganoff needs to be on a dang bumper sticker because it’s seriously knock-you-to-the-ground delicious, but a pick-you-back-up-to-the-sky lighter version!

Chicken instead of beef.

Yogurt instead of sour cream.

Oh, NOT OUT OF A BOX.

Okay, while you make this, I’m going to go ahead and register my multi-million dollar award-winning catch phrase…with myself.

What it took for 4:

* 6 boneless skinless chicken thighs, rinsed, trimmed of excess fat and cut into bite-sized pieces

* 1 Tbs. sweet paprika

* 2 Tbs. all-purpose flour

* 1/2 medium yellow onion, diced

* 8 oz. baby bella mushrooms, rinsed and sliced

* 1/4 cup vermouth

* 1/2 cup chicken stock

* 1 Tbs. tomato paste

* 2 small dried bay leaves

* 1/4 cup Greek plain yogurt

* 1 pound egg noodles

* fresh parsley, for garnish

* coarse salt and freshly ground pepper

Once you’ve prepped the chicken, toss it with the paprika, a good pinch of salt and pepper. Dust with flour.

Heat a medium skillet over medium-high heat. Add the chicken and sear until browned on all sides, about 7minutes total. Remove from pan and set aside.

Add a smidge more oil to the pan if needed then toss in the onions and mushrooms. Saute until everything starts to brown and caramelize, 5 minutes.

Deglaze the pan with the vermouth and let sizzle about a minute. Add the stock, tomato paste and bay leaves. Stir to combine.

Nestle the chicken back in the pan (with its collected juices) and simmer until the chicken is cooked through and the sauce thickens a tad, 5-7 minutes. Stir in the yogurt and cook 2 more minutes. Give the whole mess a good pinch of salt and pepper.

In the meantime, boil your egg noodles until they reach al dente. Drain.

Serve the stroganoff over a bed of noodles and garnish with parsley.

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SWISS CHARD PESTO. Thaaaat’s it.

Remember when I showed you the leetle Instagram teaser shot this weekend and no one could guess what kind it was? Man, that was like a pesto joy ride for me. And my hair got all windblown.

You’re not convinced on this yet, are you? Neither was Aaron. When I was jumping up and down in the kitchen screaming in his face about how I was going to a make Mexican-style swiss chard pesto, his eyes narrowed and in his best Kristen Wiig voice, he came back with, “a whaaaat?” *

Well, well, well, bunny beans. Guess what dropkicked his MIND? Yeah, he didn’t even have a chance.

This pesto is insane. Swiss chard, jalapenos, toasted pepitas, garlic and green hot sauce. You should breathe and then push your eyes back into your head.

When you eat this, it tastes like you’re biting into a spicy, nutrient-y garden. And then when you make it to the seasoned black beans and roasted sweet potatoes, your tongue is going to faint. Once you resuscitate your tongue and realize you’ve also just eaten creamy avocado with fresh lime and crumbly queso fresco…well…there’s just no hope for you.

What it took for 2:

for the pesto:

* 1 bunch swiss chard, cut into chunks

* 1 jalapeno, roughly chopped

* 3 cloves garlic, roughly chopped

* 2 Tbs. green hot sauce

* 1/4 cup toasted pepitas

* 1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil

* coarse salt and freshly ground pepper

for the tacos:

* 1 Tbs. extra-virgin olive oil

* 1 sweet potato, cut into a medium dice

* 1 (14.5 oz.) can black beans, drained and rinsed

* 2 ts.p cumin, divided

* 2 tsp. chili powder, divided

* 1/2 tsp. garlic salt

* 8 white corn tortillas

* 1/3rd cup queso fresco, crumbled

* 1 avocado, diced

* lime and cilantro for garnish

* coarse salt and freshly ground pepper

Preheat your oven to 400.

On a rimmed baking sheet toss the diced sweet potato with the oil, 1 tsp. chili powder, 1 tsp. cumin, a pinch of coarse salt and pepper. Roast for 30 minutes. Set aside.

In the meantime, toss the swiss chard, jalapeno, garlic, hot sauce and pepitas into a food processor. Season with salt and pepper. Start pulsing. With the motor running, pour the oil into the processor in a thin stream, until you have pesto. Taste. Yes. Yes.

Toss the beans into a small sauce pan and season with the remaining cumin, chili powder and garlic salt. Heat through, 5 minutes.

On a small grill or skillet, toast the tortillas until you get browning or charred marks.

Layer 2 tortillas then spoon on some beans, followed by sweet potatoes. Dollop with a good 2 Tbs. of swiss chard pesto. Sprinkle on some queso fresco, the diced avocado, a good spritz of lime and a few cilantro leaves.

YESSSSSS.

*You’re going to have a lot of pesto leftover. Freeze her up!

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Thai Soup

Sluuuuuuurp. Slurp, slurp, slurp. Slurpidy slurp. Oh, hi!

Don’t mind me. I’m just slurping my way into 2012. I am wearing a bib, though. It’s cool.

Did you make any resolutions for the new year? Me either. Resolutions freak me out. If I make them, I get all stressed and think, “Well, I better get busy resoluting something or else the boogie man will get me.”

But, I do set goals! Which, you’re probably like, “uh, that’s the same thing.” AU CONTRAYAIRE, MON FRAYERE. Resolutions set me up for mega mama failure, whereas goals give me something to STRIVE FOR. Plus they give me the chance to wear neon pink body suits, matching leg warmers and ’80s sweatbands more than I already do.

What? It’s a really timeless look, you guys.

One of my goals this wintertime is to slurp my face into a hundred billion soups. Even if it’s unseasonably warm where you’re from, with trees budding and birds singing and no sign of snow, KANSAS. (Are we going to die?)

Start with this soup. And I mean it. And you know what? Forget the bib. Just go for it. Stick your entire head in this soup and experience the glory of the new year.

Slurp.

What it took for 4:

* 3 frozen or thawed chicken breast halves

* 3 or 4 cloves garlic, minced

* 2 Tbs. freshly minced ginger

* 2 (13.5 oz.) cans coconut milk

* 4 cups chicken stock

* 3 Tbs. soy sauce

* 4 oz. thin rice noodles

* 2 red bell peppers, diced

* 2 cups fresh beans sprouts

* 2 jalapenos, finely sliced

* 2 limes

* cilantro for garnish

* coarse salt and freshly ground pepper

In a slow cooker, add the coconut milk, broth, garlic, ginger, chicken, soy sauce, a pinch of salt and freshly ground pepper. Cook on high for 3 hours.

Using tongs, remove chicken from pot and shred with two forks. Return to pot. Add the rice noodles, bell pepper and sprouts. Cook 30 more minutes. Taste and add more salt and pepper if needed.

Serve each bowl garnished with sliced jalapeno, a good handful of cilantro and some gigantic squirts of lime. Oh, man, yes.

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We have only a few days left until Christmas. Does that give anyone else gas?

I have to say, I’ve been quite the little miss holiday spirit cheerleader this season. I’ve charmingly entertained my husband with my best intoxicated Kermit THE Frog impression singing Feliz Navidad, 33 times. I used tinsel as dental floss and was all, “THIS IS THE WAY THE ELVES DO IT AT THE NORTH POLE” to the people in Target. And I even took the leftover wrapping paper and made a nifty little pant suit to wear to a party.

You wish.

But now I need simple. I need simple so bad even my pancreas hurts.

Well, whadduyaknow? Tostadas heard my cry for help. They reached out to me with guacamole dripping off their shrimpy arms and they rescued me from Santa suffocation.

There, there. Do you need a holiday hug from shrimpy tostadas too? Maybe 6 gallons of guacamole would help quiet the voices in your head?

You know what? Just cry it out.

What it took for 6 tostadas:

* 6 corn tortillas

* cooking spray

* 2 cups grated cheddar cheese

* 2 avocados

* 1/2 cup chopped cilantro, plus more for garnish

* juice from 1 lime

* 2 Tbs. extra virgin olive oil

* 1 pound shrimp, peeled and deveined

* 1 Tbs. ground cumin

* 2 Tbs. chili powder

* 1 tsp crushed red or green pepper

* 1 tsp garlic salt

* 1 red bell pepper, cut into small slices

Preheat oven to 350.

Lightly coat both sides of the corn tortillas with cooking spray. Bake for 4 minutes on each side. Switch oven to broil. Evenly divide the cheese over the tortillas and broil until cheese is melted and bubbly, 2-ish minutes. Remove from heat and set aside.

In a small bowl, combine the avocados, cilantro, lime juice and a pinch of kosher salt. Mash up with a fork until you get guacamole. Go ahead and eat a few bites for your well-being.

Toss the shrimp with the cumin, chili powder, crushed pepper flakes and garlic salt.

Heat the oil in a medium skillet over medium high. Sear the shrimp on one side for 2 minutes; flip and sear 30 more seconds. Remove from pan.

To the pan, add the sliced red bell pepper. Saute for 2 minutes, scraping the browned bits from the pan, seasoning the peppers. Sprinkle in a leetle salt.

Spoon the guacamole over each cheesy tostada, followed by shrimp and red bell pepper. Garnish each tostada with cilantro and give another good squeeze of lime juice over each one.

Oh, you just won’t believe it.

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I need to tell you something real quick: I WANT TO MARRY TUNA STEAKS.

As I’ve mentioned, I’m cooking a few recipes out of this super duper book I just finished. And as a mega mama lover of fish, this recipe jumped off the page, slapped my face into next week and then kissed me like Rhett Butler does to Scarlett O’Hara on a dangerously long red staircase.

And as if good tuna wasn’t enough to seal the deal for 10 thousand romantic slow dances in your heart, the marinade slash topping for this dish will FREAK. YOUR. FACE. RIGHT. OFF.

Ginger? Good gosh yes.

Garlic? Feed me a billion cloves.

Cilantro? Make me an edible scarf, please.

Lime juice and soy sauce? Draw me a bath now, would ya, dear?

Add slices of creamy avocado to the mix and OH. Oh, ohohohohoh. Ican’tevenstandit.

The only willy-nillying I did was to tweak the measurements a tad to fit my taste buds, and I served the tuna over wilted spinach, which, in my opinion, everything in LIFE should be served over wilted spinach. Including wilted spinach.

One more thing and I’ll totes leave you alone. This is good tuna. PLEASE don’t cook it all the way through. You want it rare in the middle. Don’t be skeered.

Now please go make this and invite me over so I can steal it from you.

What it took for 1:

* 1 tuna steak (ahí or yellow fin)
* pinch of salt and pepper
* 3 Tbs. extra-virgin olive oil, divided
* 2 Tbs. soy sauce
* 1 tsp. freshly minced ginger
* 2 cloves garlic, minced
* 1/2 cup chopped cilantro
* juice of 1 lime, plus the zest
* 1 tsp. sugar
* 1/2 avocado, thinly sliced
* 4 cups spinach

Season both sides of the tuna with salt and pepper.

In a small bowl, whisk together 2 Tbs. oil, soy sauce, ginger, garlic, cilantro, lime juice, zest and sugar. Add the fish and marinate for at least 2 hours in the fridge.

In a small skillet, heat the last Tbs of oil. Add the spinach and wilt slightly. Toss in a teeny pinch of salt and pepper. Remove from heat and set aside.

Remove the fish from the marinade and grill (or sear) for 4 minutes on each side.

Pour the remaining marinade into a small saucepan and reduce until it becomes thick.

Top the wilted spinach with the grilled fish, followed by the sliced avocado and a nice drizzle of the reduction.

Dear goodness me.

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